Friday, 11 February 2011

That icky stuff (get the bag ready I'm going to be sick)

I guess it must be an American thing, for children to be a part of Valentines Day. Cos everywhere online at the moment I'm seeing kids and valentine mix and matched like odd, but coordinated socks.

I'm afraid that as a Brit I have to take issue with this. To me the combination of kids and Valentines Day (a day of romance and potential thong action in the bedroom) seems a tad...well...inappropriate? Don't you think? Even distasteful? For us Brits, you see, Valentines Day is definitely a couples thing.

You know. It's the one day of the year that you actually try and forget about the kids. A day when you try and deny you ever had them, however much they scream, vomit or throw Shreddies at you. Especially if they throw Shreddies at you. For a moment - in between the screaming and vomiting - you might even get a glimmer of your life BC (before children). Or not. Especially if you're more of a middle-aged-big-knicks sort of lass, rather than a thong-action youthful hussie. [Note: count me in the former classification]

Anyway. Hearts and Valentines and all that icky stuff isn't really my cup of tea. Not since I was 15 and convinced that I would be doomed to an eternity of acned lovelessness if I was the only girl in class not to receive a valentines card.

But you see what happens? Eventually after years of hunting, catching, and ditching the opposite sex while claiming your annual Valentines Day tat, you get hitched and have kids. And then you wonder what the heck all the fuss about a giant quilted bear-and-heart-offence-to-all-who-have-taste-card from Clintons was all about.

So, where am I going with this?

Well. I saw this 'making heart pockets out of magazines' thing on the fab Unplug Your Kids blog and, despite my momentary instinctive repulsion ("valentines-kids, kids-valentines - no that is SO wrong on so many levels") I did think it was a good blog post. And dare I say it, a nice craft activity. I use the word 'nice' here in a sort of pleasantly neutral tone.

I'll shut up now. The blog post is here . Check it out.

And please Americans, please please please. Please don't corrupt Valentines Day for us like you did with Hallow-bloody-een. Valentines Day is for grown-ups.

Next we'll be celebrating Inde-bloody-pendence Day and St-I'm-not-religious-but-I'll-have-a-guiness-and-dress-up-like-a-gnome-Patricks Day and ...
Oh! We already do the latter, don't we?
Well, you know us Brits. Any excuse for a party.

Just as long as we don't have to share it with the kids.


Clare said...

I'm so glad someone else sees Valentine's day the same as I do! One of DD1's male friends' mum emailed me to ask me for my address so her DS could send DD a Valentine's Day card! She's only 7.5! :-(

I'm really unhappy about it, but I couldn't refuse without looking rude and upsetting the little boy. I'm not quite sure what to do now, having sent the address - I ought to have pretended I hadn't got the email! But I guess he'd have given it to her next time he saw her.

Anonymous said...

I agree. All the sewing forums are awash with massive crafty valentines overload for whole school classes, neighbours and more. Whilst I applaud the crafty ingenuity and intentions of equality, I too can't help thinking that it isn't about children at all.

Mr G proposed to me on Valentines Day in 2002 after I had forgotten to pick him up from work because I'd been yacking at a friend's house and I hadn't got anything in for dinner either.

He can't say he had no idea what I was like!

Stephanie said...

Well... ha!... I heard this last year, too. :)
And I was included in the list, no doubt.

But in my defense, yeah... it changes.
We drop birthdays. Winter holidays become socks and underwear, and fun stuff for the babes.
For me, Valentines is more about color and getting through the damned cold winter than it is a ridiculous amount of money for meaningless chocolates and pink or red roses. You know? Save the money for another month, and we'll get peas in the ground. :)

And romance? Well, with small (or not so small) babes in the bed, one only finds one's g-strings in their bed on a teddybear or doll.
(Not that I have any better use for them these days...)

But "Shine on!", those of us living on this side say to you, "...Live long, and Prosper!!" Do it for the rest of us.

Shell said...

It always amazes (sorry, saddens) me how many brits know when St Patricks Day is but they can't tell you when St Georges Day is :o(

MadameSmokinGun said...

I'm SO GUILTY on the including children in Valentines Day - and (as I've just blabbed on DeerBaby's blog) I indeed leave heart-shaped pockets out for THEM with chocolates inside. But here is my defense:

I hate Valentines Day with every fibre of my being. I hate cute teddies and over-priced roses and sickening puffy cards and restaurants charging 3 times their normal prices to couples sitting there because they expect each other to be sitting there. I hate shop windows full of pink shite. I hate sloppy radio requests. I hate being told that on this date I must suddenly be gushy and attentive.

So I have taken all this sick couplesy nazism away and leave chocolate out for the kids - so that in years to come they won't associate Valentine's Day with being totally neglected again and again and again........... like their now above-such-humiliations-honest cynical mother.

And if Mr Roving Blade did suddenly thrust a bunch of scavenged blooms in my face I would immediately start packing my bags under the assumption that he's having an affair. We usually do leave out cards but only to not be the one who didn't. This year we've agreed to ignore the whole charade.

I LOVE him for agreeing with me!!!!