...for an earth-shattering moment. A revelation. An epi- epo...oh what is that word? (all I can think of is episiotomy and I KNOW it's not that). You know, the word that means a sort of revelationary moment where the meaning of life the universe etc etc etc are revealed. Bloomin' ek. My brain has just slipped through the cracks in the drain cover.
Anyway, if I could I would blog about fantastic life-enhancing moments, lightbulbs triggered in my children's brains, the huge educational and emotional leaps that they are making. Instead I find myself documenting the gritty dregs at the bottom of the wine glass of everyday life.
So here we go. Yet another non-earth-shattering moment in the life of a home educator...
Conversation in back of car today:
girl 2 : do you know what cows drink?
dd: No.
girl 2: Guess.
dd: I don't know.
girl 2: Milk. They drink milk.
dd: Hmmm. I don't think so. They eat grass. I don't know what they drink.
girl 2: They drink milk and it's the milk and the grass that gets mixed up and comes out as... milk.
dd: From their boobies. Cows have a lot of boobies
girl 2: Uh huh.
dd: I wonder how many bras a cow needs. It must be loads and loads.
girl 2: Gras? what are gras?
me: She said 'bras'.
girl 2: Bras?
me: Yes bras. Because cows have lots of boobies so they need a lot of bras [why am I entering into this inane conversation?]
girl 2: Oh.
dd: And that's where their milk comes from.
girl 2: Milk. Yeah. That's what cows drink.
And they wonder why childbirth turns mother's brains into that greeny-purple slime that you find at the bottom of the fridge.
Showing posts with label children's sayings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children's sayings. Show all posts
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
Monday, 26 April 2010
Questions, questions, questions....
I spent the morning chasing dog poo along the concrete outside our back door with some dangerously thin nappy sacks. The dog watched me with a malicious grin, getting ready to redecorate my back garden with teeny stringy turds the moment I turned my back.
Then I came indoors...
dd1: 'I've got a tricky question.'
me: 'Uh huh?'
dd1: 'Do Postmen go on aeroplanes?'
me: 'Well I guess when they go on holiday they might fly there and then they'd have to go on an aeroplane. Does that answer your question?'
dd1: 'Maybe.'
me: 'Why did you want to know?'
dd1: 'Oh, no reason. Just thought I'd ask.'
One of the weirdest things about parenting is that you spend your day being propelled from in-your-face-disgusting reality to non-drug-induced surreality and back again.
I've decided that if I ever write a book it should be titled 'Do postmen go on aeroplanes...I don't know dear, but there's a helluva lot of dog poo in the back garden.'
Then I came indoors...
dd1: 'I've got a tricky question.'
me: 'Uh huh?'
dd1: 'Do Postmen go on aeroplanes?'
me: 'Well I guess when they go on holiday they might fly there and then they'd have to go on an aeroplane. Does that answer your question?'
dd1: 'Maybe.'
me: 'Why did you want to know?'
dd1: 'Oh, no reason. Just thought I'd ask.'
One of the weirdest things about parenting is that you spend your day being propelled from in-your-face-disgusting reality to non-drug-induced surreality and back again.
I've decided that if I ever write a book it should be titled 'Do postmen go on aeroplanes...I don't know dear, but there's a helluva lot of dog poo in the back garden.'
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
The things we want to know...
dd wants to know...'What happens if you do something illegal and the Police don't see?'
I want to know:
a) how my 6-year-old knows the word 'illegal'!
and
b) whether she is asking this from a whats-the-sound-of-one-hand-clapping philosophical aspect or if she plans on having a career as a criminal!
From tomorrow I am going to go back to ordinary blogging. My head hurts.
I want to know:
a) how my 6-year-old knows the word 'illegal'!
and
b) whether she is asking this from a whats-the-sound-of-one-hand-clapping philosophical aspect or if she plans on having a career as a criminal!
From tomorrow I am going to go back to ordinary blogging. My head hurts.
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
The questions continue...
dd: who was the first person who died? Oh, of course we don't know that because we weren't there. And if we'd been there and been the first person who died then we wouldn't know because we'd have died. We'd be dead.
me: Well unless you were dying slowly and knew you were dying and knew noone else had died before you.
dd: Hmmm. It's confusing to me - like standing in an upside down house and thinking you're the right way up.
dd also wanted to know what the largest number was. Dh gave her some explanation about googles etc., but she didn't seem entirely satisfied. Then I realised that she'd been playing with the calculator and actually wanted to know what the biggest number on the calculator was. As she added away, I tried to explain why the numbers stopped getting bigger and now had a 10 at the end (to the power of 10). She gave me that cutting, patronising look that only girls seem to be able to give.
So, conclusions from all this(apart from A level maths being a pointless addition to my academic pile of paper)? I'm wondering if she is undergoing some huge growth spurt or developmental leap. Her conversations and questions continue. At the same time she's been very weepy recently, unsure of herself, clingy. It's almost as if she's suddenly discovered that the solid ground (belief system?) that she was standing is actually rather shaky. And the questions are perhaps to reassure her, get a fix on where she is, what the world is about. Well I don't know any other way to explain it.
With the boys there was a definite transition between those exhausting years of aggression and destruction and hyperactivity between age 2-6 (think large clumsy labradors), and the sudden ability to sit down and concentrate at 7+ (think slightly bouncy terrier). Perhaps this is the girl equivalent? Either way, it's probably good she's home educated. Otherwise she'd be driving some poor teacher demented right now!
me: Well unless you were dying slowly and knew you were dying and knew noone else had died before you.
dd: Hmmm. It's confusing to me - like standing in an upside down house and thinking you're the right way up.
dd also wanted to know what the largest number was. Dh gave her some explanation about googles etc., but she didn't seem entirely satisfied. Then I realised that she'd been playing with the calculator and actually wanted to know what the biggest number on the calculator was. As she added away, I tried to explain why the numbers stopped getting bigger and now had a 10 at the end (to the power of 10). She gave me that cutting, patronising look that only girls seem to be able to give.
So, conclusions from all this(apart from A level maths being a pointless addition to my academic pile of paper)? I'm wondering if she is undergoing some huge growth spurt or developmental leap. Her conversations and questions continue. At the same time she's been very weepy recently, unsure of herself, clingy. It's almost as if she's suddenly discovered that the solid ground (belief system?) that she was standing is actually rather shaky. And the questions are perhaps to reassure her, get a fix on where she is, what the world is about. Well I don't know any other way to explain it.
With the boys there was a definite transition between those exhausting years of aggression and destruction and hyperactivity between age 2-6 (think large clumsy labradors), and the sudden ability to sit down and concentrate at 7+ (think slightly bouncy terrier). Perhaps this is the girl equivalent? Either way, it's probably good she's home educated. Otherwise she'd be driving some poor teacher demented right now!
Monday, 22 February 2010
More thoughts from the mind of a six-year-old...
dd: Mummy, how was the first person born?
Me: Er...well...
dd: Because to be born there would to have been another person. And to make that person there would have had to be another person. And to make that person there would have had to have been another person.
Me: Er...well..
dd: So where did the first person come from?
Me: Um...
I so remember having this 'chicken and egg' discussion with ds1 at a similar age. And I don't think I came up with a better answer then either. lol.
There are times when being a Creationist would make home educating easier. Or maybe not...perhaps the conversation then would go something like this:
Me (as a creationist): er, God made the first person.
dd: So, let me get this right, God made the first person?
Me: yeah
dd: Ok, then who made God?'
Me: Er...well
dd: And whoever made god would have to have been made by someone, who must have been made by someone, who was also made by someone. So who made that someone?
Me: Er...go ask your dad.
[I've just realised that this is the first post where I've put the labels god and religion in the little box below. I wonder what that says about my blogging...or me]
Me: Er...well...
dd: Because to be born there would to have been another person. And to make that person there would have had to be another person. And to make that person there would have had to have been another person.
Me: Er...well..
dd: So where did the first person come from?
Me: Um...
I so remember having this 'chicken and egg' discussion with ds1 at a similar age. And I don't think I came up with a better answer then either. lol.
There are times when being a Creationist would make home educating easier. Or maybe not...perhaps the conversation then would go something like this:
Me (as a creationist): er, God made the first person.
dd: So, let me get this right, God made the first person?
Me: yeah
dd: Ok, then who made God?'
Me: Er...well
dd: And whoever made god would have to have been made by someone, who must have been made by someone, who was also made by someone. So who made that someone?
Me: Er...go ask your dad.
[I've just realised that this is the first post where I've put the labels god and religion in the little box below. I wonder what that says about my blogging...or me]
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