I'm twisting your arm

Sorry, but it's like the end of year school performance. I'm going to make you sit through other kids' performances. And it'll seem like forever (even though it's only a few minutes). And you're not going to even get to see your own kids tearjerker moment. Tough. I waited all year for this. And someday I might even buy the poor kid a drum kit.

And the train arriving at platform 1 is...

Ok, slow motion train crash averted at last minute. Surprisingly sympathetic audience. Working microphone. All performers turned up (with their script). Audience didn't notice the non-deliberate mistakes. And I was sober the whole way through.
Should go down in history...

...as the last time I ever put myself through anything like that.

ARgghhh!!!